As parents, it’s natural to want to swoop in and help when our children struggle. Watching your toddler wrestle with their shoes or your preschooler puzzle over a tricky zipper can tug at your heart—and your patience. But here’s the truth we see at Yellow Brick Road every single day:
the struggle is where the magic happens.
It’s in the trying—not the success—where children build confidence, problem-solving skills, and perseverance.
When Helping Can Accidentally Hold Them Back
A few weeks ago, Ms. Mayra’s toddler class was getting ready for outdoor play. One little boy, Noah, sat on the floor determined to put on his boots. They kept tipping over, and he kept falling sideways. He looked around the room, quietly hoping someone might rescue him.
Normally, this is the moment most adults instinctively rush in: “Here, let me do it for you.” But Mayra waited. She crouched nearby and said, “You’re working so hard. I’m here if you need help.”
It took seven full minutes. The boots ended up on the wrong feet. But when he stood up, his grin stretched ear to ear. He stomped across the classroom yelling, “I did it! I DID IT!”
That moment wasn’t about boots. It was about pride. And it happened because Mayra let him try.
The Learning Lives in the Struggle
When children are given space to struggle safely, they learn:
- Problem-solving: How to approach challenges in new ways.
- Resilience: That it’s okay to make mistakes and try again.
- Self-trust: That they are capable of figuring things out.
In our PreK rooms, we see this during puzzles all the time. A child might get frustrated and walk away. But teachers gently invite them back later, saying, “I saw how close you were. Want to try again together?” And when they finally fit that last piece, they light up. That victory sticks because they earned it.
How Parents Can Support This at Home
- Offer encouragement, not solutions: Say “I see you working hard” instead of “Here, let me do it.”
- Break tasks into steps and let your child try each one.
- Expect it to take longer—and build in that time.
- Celebrate effort: even if the shoes are on the wrong feet, the pride is real.
Letting children struggle a little isn’t easy—but it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give. Every “I did it myself” moment plants the seeds of lifelong confidence.